Things to Know Before You Cheat: Christian Marriage Counseling
Adultery has become the modern epidemic of our culture. We so often see in the news that another celebrity was caught cheating. But adultery is not something happening only in the world of rich and famous. It doesn’t relate to social status or wealth. Regardless of profession, pastors, teachers, politicians, actors, athletes, musicians, all are cheating. Cheaters are everywhere in our midst, family relatives, friends, colleagues, or neighbors.
Many treat their commitments as optional and their relationships casually. Our culture strives for fast and easy gratifications. And this mentality has infiltrated the institution of marriage as well, which is not seen anymore as being sacred and for a lifetime. Cheaters justify their reasons in various ways, finding excuses that make perfect sense for them and relieve their feelings of guilt. Our infidelities and thirst for affairs has become a normal and perfectly accepted behavior in our culture. Most TV series include an affair story as well. We even have a reality show called Cheaters that exploit the real stories on national television. It seems that we live in a very sad age.
Adultery shatters dreams and devastates relationships. If you ever entertained the idea of cheating on your significant other think again. An affair comes with a harsh price tag that most certainly you cannot afford. Before having an affair there are some things you need to be aware of. As it wouldn’t be bad enough to be called a cheater, you will become a liar as well. You cannot indulge in adultery without some level of deceit. Lying and cheating always go well together.
Christian Marriage counseling teaches us many other things we need to know before considering cheating. For example, another thing to reflect on is that most probably you will be caught in the end. It may not happen overnight, but sooner or later the story of your adulterous affair will be found out by your spouse and maybe even by your family and your circle of friends. You will likely disappoint everyone in your entourage. And will definitely take a long time to remove the disappointment you cause. You will become a bad example not only in relationships but in other areas of life as well. People will think that if you were able to cheat in one area then perhaps you are likely to cheat in other areas as well. This bad deed can erase a whole lifetime of doing good.
You will probably also lose your moral authority.How you’ll tell your children to do the right things when you didn’t. You will also create trust issues for your spouse that will mark her or him forever. You will damage the self-esteem of the one you promised to respect and love. They will have to struggle to trust every relationship they try to have ever after.
A direct material impact of cheating on you may be that you will probably lose your actual standard of living. You may lose your job, your home, and end up with significant court fees from a divorce. A betrayed spouse may make you pay for your mistake and that is always expensive.
You will have to spend countless years trying to rebuild your life. Not only from a financial point of view, but emotionally as well. It takes years to truly forgive yourself, to rebuild your character, to rebuild trust, or to restore your lost friendships. You will lose many relationships, not only the one with your former spouse. Many lifelong friends may walk away after hearing about your affair. Friends that you helped will not be around to help you. Even some family members who are supposed to support and love you unconditionally will vanish. As a cheater you may end up in a very lonely life.
An affair will also increase your chances of contracting a STD. Promiscuous people are more exposed to sexually transmitted disease. Being committed in a steady relationship protects you from this risk.
You also need to think about the fact that believing the grass is greener on the other side might be a misconception. Many may look attractive and desirable from a distance, but once you get there the grass changes color. Especially if you get caught.
You also need to think before committing adultery if you would like this to be done to you. The best way of living is to be guided by the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated.
If you cheat you will eventually regret your decision, sooner or later. In the heat of the moment it may appears that indulging into temptation and having that affair makes sense. It might feel good for the moment. But feelings are deceitful and soon afterwards you will support the consequences and will regret your partaken of the forbidden fruit. We all have enough regrets filling our lives to add another one. You can destroy even with a nightstand everything you have worked hard to build in your life. And the pain certainly outweighs the gain. Unfortunately, no one leaves their divorce lawyer’s office smiling.
How to avoid giving in the temptation of having an affair? If your marriage or long time relationship seems to lose its charm and feels dull and filled with routine, then maybe it’s time to get some help from marriage counseling. This may open your eyes to new ways to bring spontaneity back into your relationship and keep burning the flame of passion. Marriage counseling can also teach you how to improve communication in your relationship and how to peacefully solve your conflicts.
Christan Marriage counseling can help you not only before committing an affair. It actually can help you to also recover from an affair after the act is done. It is not impossible to recover your relationship even after an affair. Of course, will take a lot of work from your part and it also require the collaboration of your partner. If you can convince your partner to attend together marriage counseling after adultery, you may save your relationship. However, it takes a willingness to forgive, commitment and work on your emotional issues. If both you and your partner are involved in the therapy process, you may move forward and your marriage may be saved.